creepypastafandomcom-20200222-history
User talk:NathanLeachman
Archives Archive 1 Re: Archives I created a new page for it. Remember to keep the archive on your talk page. (You can change the title by editing "Archive 1" that's in the brackets to a title you want. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:42, March 9, 2016 (UTC) Re: Reality Check I deleted that story a while ago, it was titled "Reality Check - Fear Eradication". If there's any others that come to mind, let me know. ∆ SoPretentious ∆ 09:31, March 10, 2016 (UTC) Writing Advice I'll try to look over it today and get the other admins to weigh in on it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:50, March 16, 2016 (UTC) M4R Hi Nathan. Thanks for your edits and help on the Workshop. It helps a lot. A little hint when adding the M4R category: Hide the previous categories of the pasta by following these two steps. A) Add this part at the bottom of the story: Where Cat1 and Cat2, put the categories of the story. Do this for all the categories. B) Remove the categories from the story (except M4R) like you normally would. Thanks. Have fun. MrDupin (talk) 15:00, March 17, 2016 (UTC) :I'll review the story sometime today and come to a decision on whether it just needs revisions or should be deleted. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:16, March 18, 2016 (UTC) ::Looking over the story, there were quite a few punctuation ("said(,) “I'm gonna miss you the most of all.”", " George said(,) “You are dead.", "the corpse(')s mouth."), wording ("... he faked his own death due to paranoia of being murdered due to a busted robbery in his home.", "A man on board asked Long if he was okay, and said that Long didn't seem like himself.". Avoid re-using words in the same sentence as it can become redundant), and story issues. ::Story issues: Here's what really tipped the scale. WatcherAzazel is right, there was a real disconnect while reading the story. The introduction also feels disconnected as you don't loop back towards the end to strengthen the conclusion. "The main thing is that no matter how it's told, or if it's true, it eventually has an ending. I will be switching to a third person point-of-view:" also feels out-of-place in the story. The latter half with George murdering the crew and performing the ritual really could use a bit of fleshing out and a stronger conclusion. ("Not much is known about that man and his past, although it seems like nothing is known about his future.") In the end, I decided that the story needs a lot of re-working and revision. Feel free to message me if you want a copy of the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:42, March 18, 2016 (UTC) :::Here's a copy. It's the latest revision and I already made some changes to the mechanical errors I pointed out (although I may have overlooked a few towards the end). EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:53, March 18, 2016 (UTC) I'm sorry but our standards for micro pastas are pretty strict as we get a lot. Perhaps it would be better to focus on one story at a time as opposed to juggling multiple ones separately. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:05, March 18, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:24, March 18, 2016 (UTC) RE: Hey, can you re-read my story..It's the first of a collection Sure thing, I left my remarks in the comments. Hope it helps! :) Vngel W (talk) 13:52, March 22, 2016 (UTC) :I looked at it again. Please see the comments for my remarks. Take Care! :) :Vngel W (talk) 22:53, March 23, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story You've been given pretty extensive feedback on your story by Vngel W so I don't see much point in weighing in with the same opinions from when I last read it (when it was initially posted and was deemed to be up to QS). I'm really busy at the moment and don't really have the time to critique your story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:33, March 22, 2016 (UTC)